How to Regulate Emotions Using DBT Skills from Depression Counselling Calgary Therapists
What is Emotional Regulation? Information From Depression Counselling Calgary Therapists
Emotional regulation is the ability to recognize, understand, and respond to emotions in ways that are healthy, intentional, and aligned with your values. It doesn’t mean suppressing feelings or staying positive at all costs (which is sometimes referred to as toxic positivity). Instead, it involves:
Noticing emotions as they arise
Understanding what emotions are communicating
Allowing emotions without being overwhelmed by them
Choosing how to respond rather than reacting impulsively
Strong emotional regulation skills support mental health, decision-making, and relationships—and they can be learned at any stage of life.
What our depression counselling Calgary therapists work with people on regularly is starting to identify the intensity of emotion they are experiencing as this will help determine the appropriate response.
They encourage you to think about your emotional intensity as though you are measuring it on a thermometer that ranges from 1-10:
1-4 are low level emotions and/or emotions that feel comfortable and manageable with no need for intervention
5-7 is mid-range intensity. This is the time where reflection, talking things out, journaling, identifying and labelling emotions, and figuring out what is going on for you is most available and most helpful, as obviously there is some stronger emotion being generated and it would be helpful to pay attention to that.
8-10 level is when our emotions are getting very intense. It is this level that creates fear for people around emotions because intense emotions can feel scary and overwhelming (but they don’t have to be!). Our depression counselling Calgary therapists say that people often get into a feedback loop where they avoid an emotion until it builds up in intensity, then they can no longer ignore it but don’t know what to do with it. Tools at this level of intensity that are most helpful are true regulation tools: Refocusing/distraction, taking a break, a pause, doing a tangible task or chore, getting outside, moving your body, using cold and/or water, drinking water, eating something sour, having a shower, eating a small snack are all helpful tools that will bring us back to a more regulated range where our rational brains start supporting us again.
Looking for some support with emotional regulation? Try out some of our free resources to help you along the way:
Emotional Regulation Challenges According to Our Depression Counselling Calgary Therapists
Many factors can make regulating emotions difficult, including:
Growing up without models for healthy emotional expression
Chronic stress, trauma, or invalidating environments
Depression or anxiety, which can intensify emotional responses
Fatigue, hunger, dehydration, illness, or burnout
High sensitivity or neurodivergence
When emotions feel unmanageable, people may turn to avoidance, numbing, withdrawal, or impulsive behaviours—not because they want to, but because they lack other tools. It is empowering to know that it can be different and emotional regulation is a skill that can be learned and built, no matter what your age and phase of life.
Whether you explore professional support for emotions, like we see people do with our depression counselling Calgary therapists, or you embark on a self-help journey, or a combination of the two, there is no right or wrong way to go about this. Change is possible and your relationship with your emotions and self can be different. How exciting!
An introduction to Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) From Our Depression Counselling Calgary Therapists
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is an evidence-based therapy originally developed to help individuals experiencing intense emotional distress to the point that it might lead to self-injury and/or suicidal ideation, planning, or action. Today, DBT is widely used in depression counselling and other mental health treatments and our therapists at Sana Psychological seamlessly integrate DBT skills into their sessions everyday for those navigating relationships, anger, anxiety, OCD, trauma, depression, parenting challenges, ADHD, and more.
DBT is built around four core skill areas:
Mindfulness
Distress Tolerance
Emotion Regulation
Interpersonal Effectiveness
These core skill areas help individuals accept emotions as they are while also learning how to change unhelpful patterns—creating a balance between acceptance and growth.
DBT is often a structured therapy that can be delivered in group formats or individually. There are programs available that exclusively provide DBT skills training. If this is something that you are interested in, we recommend you talk with professionals and/or do a search to see what’s available in your area.
Our depression counselling Calgary therapists also remind you that these skills can be developed in a less formal and structured way, if that works better for you.
12 DBT Skills to Help Manage Emotions That You Can Practice Today From Depression Counselling Calgary Therapists
Below are 12 practical DBT skills commonly used in therapy that can help with emotional regulation. These are accessible and possible to start using today and as needed to support a path of greater emotional balance. Remember that emotional regulation isn’t about not having emotions, it’s about supporting yourself through them.
1. Mindfulness of emotions
Noticing emotions without judging them allows space between feeling and reacting. This helps reduce impulsive responses.
What does this look like in practice? Our depression counselling Calgary therapists encourage you to tune into your body and notice changes in tension, energy, and/or other sensations as this can be a sign of emotional shifting. Checking in and asking yourself how you are doing is another way to build awareness of when emotions are showing up and how they show up in your mind, body, behaviour, and reactions.
2. Name the emotion
Labeling emotions (e.g., “I’m feeling disappointed” rather than “I’m upset”) can decrease emotional intensity and increase clarity.
Our depression counselling Calgary therapists suggest using the Feelings Wheel to support this. Taking time daily to look at the wheel and highlight any feelings (whether reflectively, verbally or in writing) that are standing out to you for the day, even if you don’t know why, helps us move emotional energy.
3. Check the facts
This skill involves examining whether your emotional response fits the situation or if assumptions or interpretations are increasing distress.
Our depression counselling Calgary therapists advise that, in practice, this can look like asking yourself “What’s the evidence for this?” when you are having reactions to things that have been said, not said, assumptions, or scenarios that may be our perception rather than reality. For instance, someone not responding to a text is not necessarily a sign of rejection or abandonment. If you stop and ask yourself what the evidence is for abandonment, you might remember that person had an out of town work commitment and might be delayed in responding. This helps shift our emotional state and can move us down the emotional thermometer.
4. Opposite action
When emotions are unhelpful or based on inaccurate interpretations, acting opposite to the urge can help shift emotional intensity.
For example, this can look like acting courageous when fearful (going toward the fear), being active when depressed (getting up instead of staying in bed), showing kindness when angry (speaking gently instead of yelling), or connecting with others when feeling shame (sharing, not isolating) advise our depression counselling Calgary therapists. This skill counters unhelpful emotional responses by choosing behaviors that don't fit the emotion but lead to better outcomes, such as approaching feared situations or engaging in positive activities
5. Build positive experiences
Intentionally scheduling enjoyable or meaningful activities increases positive emotions and builds emotional resilience over time.
Examples of this are personal to the person and their interests. Some specific examples that come to mind from our depression counselling Calgary therapists include taking a trip to the country to watch stars or see a sunrise or sunset; setting up a fun activity with a few close friends; taking yourself for a nice meal or to a movie or to the spa. The more we cultivate experiences that activate the emotions we want to experience, the more we will experience those emotions because we are gaining practice and familiarity with them. If we haven’t experienced a sense of joy or fun or amusement for awhile, expecting it to just happen out of nowhere isn’t realistic.
6. Reduce vulnerability (PLEASE skills)
PLEASE skills focus on physical wellbeing:
Treat physical illness
Balanced eating
Avoid mood-altering substances
Balanced sleep
Exercise
Caring for your body supports emotional stability.
7. Distress tolerance: Self-soothing
Using the five senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch) to comfort yourself during emotional distress. Here is a longer version of the five senses mindfulness exercise that our depression counselling Calgary therapists share and use with people often.
8. Distress tolerance: Grounding
Grounding techniques help bring attention back to the present moment when emotions feel overwhelming. These 20 relaxation strategies can be used for this purpose and have been cultivated by our depression counselling Calgary therapists.
9. Radical acceptance
Accepting reality as it is—without approving of it—reduces suffering caused by fighting what cannot be changed. While this is not easy, our depression counselling therapists remind people, it is a powerful tool to help us deal with situations, feelings, others and ourselves as they are rather than wishing for them to be different.
10. Wise Mind
Wise Mind balances emotion mind and rational mind, helping decisions come from both logic and feeling. You can use this resource (or others that you might find) to help yourself start to learn about this skill and tap into the wisdom of the wise mind. Our depression counselling Calgary therapists also found this wise mind handout that contains information and some activities that you can do.
11. Coping ahead
Mentally preparing for emotionally challenging situations reduces anxiety and increases confidence. Developing a tool kit for yourself which might include actual objects that are helpful to have (fidgets, water, food, aromatherapy scents, sour candies) along with a plan for how to navigate the situation and potential triggers empowers us and helps you move forward with greater confidence, say our depression counselling Calgary therapists.
12. Validate yourself
Self-validation acknowledges your emotional experience as understandable, even when change is needed. This can sound like, “I’m feeling _______ and that’s okay” or it might sound like, “I’m allowed to feel my feelings,” or a mantra such as, “Feelings are part of being human and I accept them as they come.”
Having a professional therapist to work with can be helpful in introducing and working on these tools while having gentle accountability. A depression counselling therapist can also help cater tools and strategies to your needs and life circumstances, bringing in resources from other areas of psychology to help you move in the direction you’d like to go.
Summary From Depression Counselling Calgary Therapists
Emotional regulation is not about eliminating emotions—it’s about learning how to work with them effectively. DBT skills provide structured, practical tools that help individuals navigate emotional intensity with greater awareness, balance, and control.
When practiced consistently, these skills can reduce emotional reactivity, improve relationships, and support mental health. Our depression counselling Calgary therapists see this everyday!
Conclusion From Depression Counselling Calgary Therapists
If you struggle with overwhelming emotions, you are not broken—and you are not alone. Emotional regulation is a learnable skill and DBT offers proven strategies to help.
Our depression counselling Calgary therapists integrate DBT skills into therapy to support clients in building emotional awareness, resilience, and healthier coping patterns. With the right tools and support, it is possible to experience emotions without feeling controlled by them.
If you’re interested in learning more about DBT or emotional regulation support, consider reaching out for professional guidance.
Sana Psychological is a mental health and addiction recovery practice in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Our therapists offer support for most areas of mental health for children, youth and adults. We work everyday with people learning more about the world of emotions and improving their quality of life and relationships using the tools described above, as well as others. Interested in learning more about our therapists? Meet the team here and use our therapist search tool to help you on your way. We also offer online booking anytime.
