Self-injury: How to recognize and treat it from depression counselling Calgary therapists
Self-injury can be frightening to witness and confusing to understand. For concerned loved ones, questions often come up quickly: Why is this happening? What should I say? How do I help without making things worse? We are here to help provide some guidance and clarity.
As therapists providing depression counselling in Calgary, we work with youth, adults and families navigating these concerns every day. This guide is meant to increase understanding, reduce stigma, and outline compassionate, evidence-based paths toward healing.
What Is Self-Injury? Our Depression Counselling Calgary Therapists Answer
Self-injury (also called self-harm or non-suicidal self-injury, NSSI) refers to the deliberate harming of one’s own body without the intent to die. Common forms include cutting, burning, scratching, hitting, or interfering with wound healing. It is most common in adolescents, though can appear in younger children or adults and is not exclusively just something adolescents experience.
Self-injury can look alarming and is concerning, though it is important to know that it is not attention-seeking and it is not a moral failing. For many people—especially adolescents—it is a coping strategy used to manage emotional pain when other tools feel unavailable or ineffective. Sometimes adolescents have not learned other ways of processing their feelings and their mind has turned to self-injury as a method of handling heavy emotions.
Our depression counselling Calgary therapists believe it is important to know that self-injury and suicidal thoughts are not the same, though they can co-occur. Both deserve care, assessment, and support from trained professionals and empathy and understanding from loved ones, friends, colleagues, teachers, and support people.
Why Self-Injury Happens: Our Depression Counselling Calgary Therapists Share More
There is no single reason someone self-injures. Often, it develops as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions or experiences such as:
Depression, anxiety, or trauma
Difficulty identifying or expressing emotions
Feeling numb or disconnected
Intense shame, self-criticism, or self-hatred
Stress related to school, relationships, identity, or social pressure
A sense of control when life feels unpredictable
For some teens, self-injury temporarily reduces emotional distress or creates a sense of relief. Research into this topic has also shown that self-injury can be connected to coping in a different way than we had previously thought. Everyone who experiences pain and then the relief of pain feels differently afterwards and typically slightly euphoric. So if everyone experiences a shift in mood and emotion after engaging in pain or self-injurious behaviours, why don’t more people do it?
Those who engage in self-injury seem to have a stronger association of the pain with pain relief. They also seem to have a more negative self-assessment and perhaps a belief that they deserve suffering and, therefore, will endure pain for longer than others. A summary of this research can be found here.
Our depression counselling Calgary therapists find this fascinating and helpful with regards to treatment as it indicates that targeting core beliefs about self in addition to emotional coping mechanisms are important parts of treatment for those engaging in self-injury.
Warning Signs of Self-Injury from Depression Counselling Calgary Therapists
Self-injury is often hidden, but there are signs that may indicate someone is struggling:
Physical signs
Unexplained cuts, burns, or bruises
Wearing long sleeves or covering arms/legs even in warm weather
Frequent “accidents” that don’t quite add up
Emotional and behavioural signs
Withdrawal from friends or activities
Increased irritability, sadness, or mood swings
Talking about feeling empty, worthless, or overwhelmed
Difficulty coping with stress or strong emotions
Keeping sharp objects or first-aid supplies hidden
Seeing one sign alone doesn’t mean self-injury is happening but patterns and changes are worth paying attention to urge our depression counselling Calgary therapists.
Supportive Responses to Self-Injury From Depression Counselling Calgary Therapists
How people respond to concerns about self-injurious behaviour can make a significant difference in the recovery path. Approaching someone with shaming comments, judgment, fear, control, or anger will usually drive the behaviour further underground and create more isolation, shame, and anger that may activate the behaviours further. If you are concerned about someone’s self-injury behaviour, our depression counselling Calgary therapists have some helpful suggestions.
Helpful responses include:
Staying calm and grounded
Expressing concern without judgment
Listening more than talking
Validating feelings, even if you don’t understand the behaviour
Encouraging professional support
Examples of supportive language:
“I’m really glad you told me.”
“It sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot on your own.”
“We can figure out next steps together.”
What to avoid:
Reacting with anger, panic, or ultimatums
Minimizing the behaviour (“It’s just a phase”)
Demanding immediate explanations
Punishing or shaming
Self-injury is a signal of distress, not something that can be fixed through discipline or lectures. If the individual is willing, working on collaborative solutions rather than leaving them alone to navigate this can help move them forward towards change. Here are some additional suggestions on supporting someone who is self-harming.
Treatment Approaches for Self-Injury From Depression Counselling Calgary Therapists
Recovery from self-injury is possible, and therapy plays a key role. In depression counselling settings in Calgary, effective treatment often includes:
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)
DBT helps individuals build skills in:
Emotion regulation. Here is a blog with some tips on how to calm your nervous system which incorporate some DBT skills
Interpersonal effectiveness.
If you are interested in a Free E-Book On Emotional Intelligence, including information and workbook-style questions to improve your empathy and relationship skills:
DBT is one of the most well-researched approaches for reducing self-injury. This is because DBT encompasses an array of practical tools that people can use to support themselves through moments of intense emotion. It is also a therapy that is often used in group therapy and educational groups for those navigating intense mood and relationship challenges, such as those within Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
Many depression counselling therapists incorporate DBT skills into their individual sessions as well, combined with other treatment modalities, to give people the confidence to face and navigate intense moments with less or no harm.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT supports clients in identifying unhelpful thought patterns and developing healthier coping strategies for depression, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm. It can also help target the negative core beliefs that a person is carrying about themselves and help shift them towards more mindful self-compassion.
Techniques like journaling and homework-style tools like thought tracking to identify patterns are part of CBT, along with many other techniques that can support shifts in self-esteem, perfectionism, and thinking and feeling patterns. Ready to jump into journaling? Here are two free tools for you:
Trauma-informed therapy
When self-injury is connected to trauma, therapy focuses on safety, emotional regulation, and gradual processing of past experiences. Even if self-injury and self-harming behaviours are not linked to trauma, it is important that your therapist be trauma-informed, encourage our depression counselling Calgary therapists. This is because it is important that your therapist be empathetic, non-judgmental and open to learning about all aspects of you and how your culture, history, family, background, and current circumstances are impacting who you are today. Trauma-informed therapy is an important backbone to work with all individuals, including youth, as it allows people to feel safe, seen, and free to open up about what is happening within them.
Family involvement
For teens, involving caregivers can improve communication, reduce secrecy, and create a more supportive home environment. Our depression counselling Calgary therapists find that a blend of individual and family appointments is usually the most helpful, but this depends on the situation. It is important that youth feel comfortable and safe to open up and if they feel that all information that is shared will be heard by and/or shared with their parents, this may cause them to clam up and not be fully honest. Therapists must walk a delicate balance in respecting the parent’s rights to information while also protecting the youth’s right to privacy.
Skill-building and relapse prevention
Treatment emphasizes replacing self-injury with safer coping strategies and planning for future stressors. Skills that can be practiced in and out of sessions are helpful as they give people a sense of empowerment and confidence in navigating tough times. Practicing these tools while in a place of calmness and stability can help build comfort using those strategies during difficult times. Our depression counselling Calgary therapists encourage this as proactive coping so that the strategies are familiar and more likely to be helpful when used in reactive situations.
Healing From Self-Injury: A Summary From Our Depression Counselling Calgary Therapists
If you or someone you care about is struggling with self-injury, help is available. You don’t have to wait for things to get worse to reach out. Early support can reduce harm, build resilience, and restore hope.
Our depression counselling Calgary therapists offering counselling are experienced in working with youth, families, and individuals affected by self-injury. With compassionate care and evidence-based treatment, healing is possible.
If you or someone you love is in immediate danger, contact emergency services or a crisis line right away.
If the person you are concerned about is not in immediate danger, our depression counselling Calgary therapists would encourage you to consider having an open discussion with them to share your concern, hear where they are at, and what they might be willing to do for next steps. Therapy can be very helpful but may not be the only step and may not be the right step for everybody. Exploring self-help materials, talking to a supportive family member, teacher, or mentor, learning about emotional regulation strategies themselves, taking a workshop, or other tools may be helpful paths. There is no one right path to healing, it is important to work with the person to find what would work for them.
You’re not alone—and support can make a difference.
Visit our Emotional Regulation Free Resources page for resource suggestions as well as free downloadables to help you on your way.
Sana Psychological is a mental health and addiction recovery practice located in Calgary, Alberta in Canada. Our therapists support various aspects of health and wellness, including youth, self-injury, depression, Seasonal Affective Disorder, and more. Interested in therapy with us? Book online anytime.
