September. Some people hear the word and smile, with visions of falling leaves, pumpkin spice, and cozy sweaters coming to mind. For others, September evokes fear, stress, and anticipatory discomfort. These feelings depend on the person, their experience, and their relationship with anxiety and stress. For those who are higher in anxiety and stress, perhaps they have even sought out anxiety counselling before, there is a greater likelihood of the September Scaries. Here we have some tips for you from Meghan Nimmo, therapist at Sana Psychological, for parents, youth, and individuals who are looking to reduce their anxiety levels and transition into September comfortably.
Wonder if you may benefit from anxiety counselling Calgary? Read our blog post about ‘10 Signs You Would Benefit From Anxiety Counselling Calgary’ here.
Q: Meghan, what are some of your top tips for helping set things up successfully for that back-to-school and routine transition in September?
A: From my experience providing parenting support and anxiety counselling Calgary, I would say that going back to school or work after some time away can be hard. Giving up that feeling of freedom that comes with summer and/or vacation and having to get back into work mode is a lot and this can definitely spike some fear as clients talk about often in anxiety counselling Calgary. Remind yourself that you have successfully gone through this before and you can do it again (we can also call this a ‘reality check’ which can be helpful when our minds are spiralling).
In anxiety counselling Calgary, I also suggest that you prepare beforehand. One way to calm the nerves can be to prepare for the transition. For example, pack your backpack/work bag, pick out your first day of school outfit (or first week if that helps you), pack a lunch the night before, and/or think of something fun and relaxing you can do after your first day. Doing any of these things will ensure you are not running around the morning of, or having to make decisions when you might not be in the best head space, it will also let you have some control at a time when you feel like you are giving up some control and ownership in your life.
Other strategies that I have found helpful in anxiety counselling Calgary include the most basic relaxation strategy we have available at any time of our breath. Breathe! If you are particularly anxious or overwhelmed about going back to school (or anything, really), remember to breathe! There are many breathing techniques out there, with one that is easy to remember being the 4-7-8 breathing technique. This is used often for anxiety counselling Calgary support. To implement this breathing exercise: Inhale for four counts, hold for 7 counts, and exhale for 8 counts (the key is that you want your exhales longer than your inhales). Repeat this for 3-5 breaths, focusing on counting and where you feel the breath the strongest. This will slow your heart rate and calm your nerves. If the counts don’t feel right for your body feel free to experiment with a different count, such as a 3 count hold and 6 count exhale.
While breath exercises and preparation may seem common sense, they are powerful techniques that people often take for granted and do not use because of their simplicity. In my observation, it is the simplest techniques that can have the most power so don’t forget about these (and other) tools in your toolkit!
Here are some other tips on relaxation that you might find useful.
Q: Is there anything that people can do in the days or weeks prior to going back to school or work to support themselves, based on your experience providing anxiety counselling Calgary?
A: Anxiety is all about anticipation, as we discuss in anxiety counselling Calgary. Therefore, being proactive can be helpful at reducing some of those feelings of stress that come with looking ahead. Some actions to consider include:
- Be Proactive with the Transition. Start transitioning back to a normal school or work schedule beforehand. Sleep has probably gotten a little wonky over the summer (this can be especially true for teens). Having to go back to an earlier bedtime and early morning wake-up in one day is a lot on the body. Slowly start a transition where everyone in the household is going to bed earlier and waking up earlier 1-2 weeks in advance of school. As I see with my clients in anxiety counselling Calgary, it is not effective to move bedtime and wake-up all at once but, rather, starting with small shifts like setting an alarm 10-20 minutes earlier for wake-up and the same for bedtime each night can help your body gradually adjust
- Look Forward to Something About School. For parents, help your kids and teens find something exciting to look forward to about school. Many kids are not counting the days till they get to go back to school so finding little things they are excited about will help them look forward to it. For example, never doubt the power of a cool new backpack and a special first-day-of-school outfit. It may be harder for teens to remind themselves of what they like about school but you can talk with them about the benefits of seeing friends, re-engaging in clubs and sports teams they’re interested in and finding things that fit their personality. I remember that I decorated my binder and the dividers with collages of things that made me happy in high school. That way, I knew if I was having a bad day I could flip to the pictures to give myself a boost. Plus, some mindful art time is always helpful and something I discuss often in anxiety counselling Calgary.
- Look Forward To Something Outside of School/Work. Have something for everyone to look forward to in that first day or week of back to school or work/routine. I mentioned this already specifically for teens but I think it is important for everyone. Having a little something to look forward to can help get through many rough spots that may come up. Some examples include having a favourite meal planned, watching a movie together, or a family event that you all enjoy. Not only is going back to school and work hard, but it is something to be celebrated and reinforced. I’ve noticed that this is a great regulation strategy for those in anxiety counselling Calgary as it helps in the moment provide some positive refocus. My own example of this is when I was 14-years-old, I told my mother that every Friday would be family fun Friday, where we ordered food and rented a movie. For years, we were both excited when Friday rolled around and would think about what we were going to get.
- Don’t Take it Personally. Parents don’t take it personally if youth are grumpier than usual. They have a lot going on, and you are a safe person to take it out on. When you think about it, it’s kind of a compliment!
Q: What are some of the biggest stressors that you see in anxiety counselling Calgary with teens and parents?
A: In my experience, the biggest stressors for youth are typically: 1) Friends, 2) School, and 3) Relationship with their parents.
Friend Stress. To youth, friends are a main part of their social world (and sometimes feel like their whole world) and what outsiders may see as minor disagreements may be felt as hugely significant to youth. I saw a lot of friend drama in girl groups in middle school/jr. high, but these challenging dynamics can appear at anytime and be quite upsetting to youth.
Top Tips from Anxiety Counselling Calgary: Parents can support their teens by being there as a non-judgmental sounding board. Try not to give advice unless you are asked, share your own experiences and observations if that feels relevant, and offer your child a safe, comfortable space at home to decompress from the friend challenges they are experiencing.
School Stress. Another top stressor for kids, teens and, subsequently, parents, is school. Just like many adults get stressed about their work, youth and kids get stressed about school and school performance, as well as some of the social dynamics that exist. In school, there are lots of deadlines and expectations placed on youth, especially as they move into higher grades. In high school especially, there is a lot of messaging about how their grades will affect their future and kids with anxiety may take this very seriously and it can raise their stress, pressure, and anxiety levels. Parents play an important role to support their kids with this by being balanced, realistic, and fair with their kids.
Top Tips from Anxiety Counselling Calgary: As parents, it is important that you celebrate your teen’s achievements, encourage them to study and prepare while also encouraging fun, rest, and relaxation, and be reinforcing rather than punitive.
Parent Stress. Teenagers can experience a great deal of stress from parents. They often feel extra pressure from them, may experience them as quite ‘harsh’ or ‘critical’ and feel that their parent doesn’t understand their experience. This is a time when parent-child relationships can be the most strained, and a big part of that is because teens are discovering who they are outside of the family.
Top Tips from Anxiety Counselling Calgary: As a parent, step back and allow your teen to go through some experiences and challenges more independently. You can be there for support and guidance but don’t step in unnecessarily as this can feel controlling and undermining to your teen. Encourage your youth’s independence and freedom and keep teaching them life, problem-solving, and safety skills to empower rather than belittle them.
If you are a parent looking for professional support for yourself and/or your teen, Sana Psychological can help! We have a team of specialists who can support adults and youth with mental health, stress, and anxiety. Learn more here.
Here are some additional reading resources for parents and youth to help support the school transition:
School Stress: How School Life Affects Your Teen
Teenagers and Back to School Stress
Meghan has found these tips to be especially helpful while providing anxiety counselling Calgary and we are grateful for her contribution to this blog post! Thank you so much, Meghan.
Sana Psychological is a private practice in Alberta where there is a diverse team of therapists providing mental health and addiction support, including anxiety counselling Calgary and Airdrie. They also offer virtual services with the locations for this being dependent on the professional’s registration and regulatory standards.