1. I find myself more often than not irritated, frustrated, and reactive
2. My reactions are often strong and may not have an apparent reason
3. I find myself saying yes to things I would prefer to say no to more often than not
4. Life feels unmanageable
5. I have strong feelings of resentment towards people in my life
6. I feel exhausted more days than not
7. My own self-care tools and time is limited to non-existent
8. I find myself thinking often about people and situations in my life
9. I feel compelled to help others even at the expense of myself
10. I have loaned more people money than I have been paid back
11. I continue to provide financial, emotional, and/or logistical support to people even though I don’t have the resources to be able to do this
12. I am angry but don’t want to admit I am angry
13. I do not know who I am
14. I am unclear on my preferences in many areas of life
15. I feel obsessed with another person or people
16. I have Addiction to substances or problem behaviours
17. I have a difficult time letting things go
18. I am controlling
19. I am a passive or passive-aggressive communicator
20. I have limited or non-existent boundaries
If you answered ‘True’ to 5 or more of these statements, then there is a strong possibility that you may be struggling from codependency. Again, this self-test is informal and not a substitute for professional diagnosis and treatment. This self-test can be used to give you an idea of problem areas and issues that you may want to seek further professional consultation for. What is Codependency? In a nutshell, codependency is characterized by obsession about another person and/or compulsion around behaviours that may include caretaking, control, rescuing (financial, emotional, or both), excessive worry, and fantasy. Codependency is when the brain becomes unhealthily attached to relationships and the person finds it difficult to let other people live their own lives and/or has difficulty focusing on their own health and life. Codependency is different than true help and support. True help comes with boundaries. This means, knowledge around and ability to act in accordance with your own needs and abilities. Codependency is a condition of extremes where people may be unable to see and/or act on their own health needs and become debilitated by this over focus on others. If this is something that you may be struggling with, I encourage you to seek out professional guidance and support. You may also benefit from some self-help resources, including Melody Beattie’s works on codependency and a new book release, ‘Love, the Drug.‘ By Paige Abbott Paige Abbott is a Registered Psychologist in Alberta, Canada and has been treating individuals with codependency since 2011.
